What are the components of a disclaimer that covers me legally?

I hope you all enjoyed the series of exchanges with John about bad service and demands for payment. It was certainly fun for me! If you have a series of questions that you'd like to have answered, please do let me know. Now we're moving on to different topics...

Disclaimers

The purpose of a disclaimer is to let your client or customer know in very clear terms what their responsibility is and what is not your responsibility. It is not possible to disclaimer all legal liability because there are certain obligations implied into contracts. In Commonwealth countries those obligations were originally common law (law of common practice recognized by the courts) and are now included in legislation.

A disclaimer needs to be written clearly and acknowledged by the customer or client. Disclaimers written in small font and hidden in documents are generally not effective. You need to be able to demonstrate that the disclaimer was brought to the attention of the customer or client and that they have acknowledged having read it and agreed to the terms. We know that not everyone reads them, so you need a process which makes it the clients obligation to explain why they didn’t if they didn’t. You might be familiar with the tick boxes for online forms (booking flights online is a good example) where you cannot proceed without ticking the box, and next to the tick box it says “I have read and accept the airline’s Terms and Conditions”.

What's the strangest disclaimer that you have ever read?